I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
