So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
