i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
