Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
