so that wasnt chicken after all
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
