Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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