i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am available for nakedness
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
