Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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