his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
