I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
