every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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