You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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