You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize