I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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