Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
love makes seman taste better
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
