even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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