Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize