Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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