now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
