he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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