Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
