Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
