Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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