i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
