Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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