i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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