she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
