is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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