How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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