my vag is so smooth its legendary
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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