I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize