it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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