I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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