Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
