mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
