Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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