C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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