we're blogging at a bar
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
