my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
