She is in my trunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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