Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Success! We fucked roommates!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
