So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
