oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
