Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
