I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
