remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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