You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
