After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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