Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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