I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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