lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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