that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
