Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
