Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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