I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
