You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
