i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize