So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
