is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
