did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
