..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
