No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
