So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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