The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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