oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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